From Carloyn Hax, March 2, 2010
Dear Carolyn:
I recently broke up with my live-in boyfriend of three years. I have been through break-ups before but this has really hit me hard. I still live in the same condo (I own it) and I find it harder and harder to stay there. I cannot sell it in this market, so I am really struggling to get it together.
Va.
I'm sorry. If it helps, people have been finding ways to live with their ghosts since well before there was such a thing as a real estate market.
Since one of your problems is grief, and another is the physical setting, combine the two to find, if not a complete solution, then at least some relief. Work through your grief by updating your apartment -- paint, rearrange furniture, re-route foot traffic. Make the familiar unfamiliar. Start hosting a new set of memories.
Making big changes on a small budget forces creative thinking, and that forces your brain to work on something other than re-living your past three years. If you have some good old friends or even some encouraging new ones, find friendly ways to include them.
Time is going to do the most work to help you through this grief, but a project can make that time go faster and in a happier direction.
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